Pepsi and Coke

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ”Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?” And the man says, ”Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond, he’s…

I saw this on a washroom wall at a truck stop on Highway 401, near Port Hope, Ontario a few years back: My mother made me a homosexual! Below in another handwriting: If I left her the wool, would she make me one too?

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding… Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI. Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle? Driver: Oh, it’s not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think…

The Old Man’s Job Application This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one who’ll cooperate). DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in…