Why I Fired My Secretary


The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary


Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling
too hot that morning anyway.  I went to breakfast knowing my wife
would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,”
and would probably have a present for me.

She didn't even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” 
I thought, “Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember.”

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said,
“Good morning boss, Happy Birthday.”
So I felt a little better; someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said,
“You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday,
let's go to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “By George,
that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go.”

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go;
we went out into the country to a little private place.
We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said,
“You know, it's such a beautiful day.
We don't need to go back to the office, do we?”
I said, “No, I guess not.” She said, “Let's go to my apartment.”
After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you don't mind,
I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.”

“Sure,” I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and,
in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake,
followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.

All were singing “Happy Birthday” and there on the couch I sat... naked.

And that is why I fired my secretary!



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