“The Butt Gut”

The Blondeand the Coke Machine There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a…
Don’t waste your time. You’re NOT gonna find one!
Signs Your Cow Has Mad-Cow Disease Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne. She refuses to let you milk her, saying “Not on the first date.” Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder. Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body. Your cow…
Spelling to get into Heaven A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw…