“The Butt Gut”

Farting Your Guts Out Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the…

Sometimes people should think about how their last names fit together before they get married… 

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We all know this is what happens when women drink too much water…  but THIS is what happens when MEN drink too much water!

          Due to increasing products liability litigation,  American liquor manufacturershave accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labelsbe placed immediately on all containers: Warnings:           The consumption of alcohol may leave you  wonderingwhat the heck happened to your bra.           The consumption of alcohol may make you thinkyou are whispering when you are not.           The consumption…

A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and tells the doctorshe’s broken every single bone in her body.“That’s impossible!” says the doctor. The blonde says, “No, it’s really true. Look!”She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams “Ouch!”Then she touches her arm and yells “Eeeeoooow!”Finally she touches her ribs and can barely…