Santa’s Dead

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS. Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.   Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further,   chocolate candy bars also contain milk,   which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered…

A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and tells the doctorshe’s broken every single bone in her body.“That’s impossible!” says the doctor. The blonde says, “No, it’s really true. Look!”She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams “Ouch!”Then she touches her arm and yells “Eeeeoooow!”Finally she touches her ribs and can barely…

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.Female……Any part under a car’s hood.Male……….The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.Female……Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.Male……….Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.Female……The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.Male………..Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)Female…….A desire to get married and…

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN. * Wine her, * Dine her, * Call her, * Hug her, * Support her, * Hold her, * Surprise her, * Compliment her, * Smile at her, * Listen to her, * Laugh with her, * Cry with her, * Romance her, * Encourage her, * Believe in her,…