Santa’s Dead

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates… It‘s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,might burn your ass tomorrow.

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ”Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?” And the man says, ”Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond, he’s…

The Perfect Couple Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side…

An extremely modest man  was in the hospital for a series of tests. The last test had left his system upset.  For hours he made several false-alarm trips to the bathroom. Finally giving up on going, he decided his latest urge to go to the bathroom was just another false alarm, so he stayed put.  …