Don’t Read Fifty Shades of Grey!

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.Female……Any part under a car’s hood.Male……….The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.Female……Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.Male……….Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.Female……The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.Male………..Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)Female…….A desire to get married and…

Farting Your Guts Out Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the…

The Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction,She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,She’ll win you in…

An old woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.  A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, “Giorgio – Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!” The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator…

A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she’d had at work, and that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died. “How horrible!” said the friend, “What did you do?” The blonde replies, “Well there was nothing I could do. He kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn’t…

Crime Scene of a Drunk