Jokes Archive

After centuries of pondering, contemplating, studying, researching, and experimenting, men have finally concluded the following: 

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS. Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.   Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further,   chocolate candy bars also contain milk,   which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered…

Have You Ever Wondered… Why does the sun lighten our hair,but darken our skin? Why can’t  women put on mascarawith their mouths closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline“Psychic Wins Lottery”? Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why is lemon juice made with…

Sometimes people should think about how their last names fit together before they get married… 

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What’s politics?” Dad says, ” Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs…

Slap Your Co-Worker Day!  Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday! Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don’t care about?Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you?Do you have a co-worker who kisses so…

We all know this is what happens when women drink too much water…  but THIS is what happens when MEN drink too much water!

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next…