I Think I Just Crapped My Pants
Have you ever
had this feeling?

Have you ever
had this feeling?

The Bull and the Turkey A turkey was chatting with a bull.“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey.“But I just haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull.“They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of…
The Old Man’s Job Application This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one who’ll cooperate). DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in…
Redneck 911 Call A couple of redneck hunters are out inthe woods when one of them falls to the ground.He doesn’t seem to be breathingand his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other redneck starts to panic, thenwhips out his cell phone and calls 911. He frantically blurts out to the operator,“O my…
Spelling to get into Heaven A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw…
A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she’d had at work, and that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died. “How horrible!” said the friend, “What did you do?” The blonde replies, “Well there was nothing I could do. He kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn’t…