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“Things My Mom Taught Me”   My Mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.  I just finished cleaning!” My Mom taught me about INDIVIDUALISM. “I bet if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too! My Mom taught me RELIGION. “You…

The Most Disgusting Eye Trick Ever

Shove It Up Your …!  Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.Before he…

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next…