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The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says; “You don’t know Jack Schitt.”Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.            Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt,the owner of the Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.They had…

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ”Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?” And the man says, ”Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond, he’s…

Moron Jokes for all your Moron Friends Why do morons like lightning?They think someone is taking their picture. Why did it take the moron an hour to eat breakfast? Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! ! What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it…

The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feelingtoo hot that morning anyway.  I went to breakfast knowing my wifewould be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,”and would probably have a present for me.She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s…

An old woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.  A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, “Giorgio – Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!” The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator…

America is great and all, but you can’t help but laughat some of the ironic things found only in America… Things FoundOnly in America 1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in…