“Ridiculous Quotes”

A Smart Way to Sleep During Class

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.Female……Any part under a car’s hood.Male……….The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.Female……Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.Male……….Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.Female……The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.Male………..Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)Female…….A desire to get married and…

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ”Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?” And the man says, ”Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond, he’s…

Slap Your Co-Worker Day!  Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday! Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don’t care about?Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you?Do you have a co-worker who kisses so…

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next…

An extremely modest man  was in the hospital for a series of tests. The last test had left his system upset.  For hours he made several false-alarm trips to the bathroom. Finally giving up on going, he decided his latest urge to go to the bathroom was just another false alarm, so he stayed put.  …