Sexy Santa

America is great and all, but you can’t help but laughat some of the ironic things found only in America… Things FoundOnly in America 1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in…

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS. Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.   Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further,   chocolate candy bars also contain milk,   which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered…

The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feelingtoo hot that morning anyway.  I went to breakfast knowing my wifewould be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,”and would probably have a present for me.She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s…

Girly Darth Vader Costume

A man walks into the doctor’s office with a serious problem! “Doctor, I’ve had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I’ve had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?” The…