The Speeding Ticket

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding…

Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.

Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: Oh, it’s not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove compartment when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: You have a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot the lady who owns the car. She’s in the trunk.

Officer: There’s a BODY in the trunk?!?

The officer tells the man to hold on, backs off carefully, and calls for backup. Quickly, the car is surrounded by police, and the captain approaches the driver to handle the situation.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure, Officer.

Captain: Hmm, this license is just fine. Whose car is this?

Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove compartment, please, so I can see if there’s a gun in there?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

He opens it, and sure enough, there’s no gun.

Captain: Would you mind if we opened the trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in there.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened, nothing in there but a spare tire.

Captain: The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove compartment, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet he told you I was speeding, too!