Mad Cow Disease
Signs Your Cow Has
Mad-Cow Disease
Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce
behind each ear as cologne.
She refuses to let you milk her,
saying “Not on the first date.”
Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
Your cow appears on Oprah,
claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body.
Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
Your cow insists that evaporated milk
comes from dehydrated cows.
She starts giving you Milk of Magnesia.
Your cow starts smoking its grass
rather than eating it.
Your cow spends half the day sitting in the
Lotus Position chanting “MOO” backwards.
Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk
if you started feeding it Hershey bars.
Your cow asks you to brand it again
but only if you’ll wear something sexy this time.
Your cow becomes a Muslim
and asks to be called “LaCream Abdul Milkbar”.
Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart
and yells “Bullseye”!
Your cow insists Milk Duds
are the result of stupid cows.
Your cow tips other cows over and laughs.
Your cow starts laughing hysterically
until milk spurts out its nose.