Reindeer Brakes


Dear Diary, I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole ‘Venus and Mars’ thing. I’ve also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I’ve yet to figure out how…
The National Poetry Contest had come down to the final two contestants, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then they were allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word that they were given was “Timbuktu.” First to…
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. “Wow…that looks deep.” “Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.” They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise “Geeez. That is REALLY deep… here.. throw one of these…
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says; “You don’t know Jack Schitt.”Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt,the owner of the Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.They had…
Holy Humor!! 1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:CHURCH CAR PARKING – FOR MEMBERS ONLY,TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!That took care of the problem!2. “No God – No Peace? Know God – Know Peace.” 3. “Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!” 4. “Try our…