Sesame Street Thanksgiving:

Farting Your Guts Out Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the…

Dear Diary, I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole ‘Venus and Mars’ thing. I’ve also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I’ve yet to figure out how…

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and mywife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else…After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finallyproceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the sinkwith the exception of one glass, which…

          Due to increasing products liability litigation,  American liquor manufacturershave accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labelsbe placed immediately on all containers: Warnings:           The consumption of alcohol may leave you  wonderingwhat the heck happened to your bra.           The consumption of alcohol may make you thinkyou are whispering when you are not.           The consumption…

* You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.” * Your Jedi robe is camouflage. * You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. * You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. * You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your…

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN. * Wine her, * Dine her, * Call her, * Hug her, * Support her, * Hold her, * Surprise her, * Compliment her, * Smile at her, * Listen to her, * Laugh with her, * Cry with her, * Romance her, * Encourage her, * Believe in her,…