A man walks into the doctor’s office with a serious problem!
“Doctor, I’ve had problems with silent gas emissions.
At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go!
As a matter of fact I’ve had three sitting here talking to you.
What are we going to do?”
The doctor replies
“The first thing we’re going to do is check your hearing”
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding… Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI. Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle? Driver: Oh, it’s not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think…
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Ten minutes later, he says, “Get me another beerbefore it starts!” She looks across, but fetches another beer…
Redneck 911 Call A couple of redneck hunters are out inthe woods when one of them falls to the ground.He doesn’t seem to be breathingand his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other redneck starts to panic, thenwhips out his cell phone and calls 911. He frantically blurts out to the operator,“O my…
Why I Am So Tired!!! For a couple of years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep,not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job,earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason:I’m tired because I’m overworked. Here’s why: The population of this country…
Dear Diary, I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole ‘Venus and Mars’ thing. I’ve also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I’ve yet to figure out how…
We’ll just take the most prominent for example’s sake: $ Michael Jordan having “retired,” with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not. $ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. $ If he goes to see a movie,…