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The Advantages of Being Old
Yes, being over 50 does have its advantages… 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?” 5. People no longer…
Moron Jokes
Moron Jokes for all your Moron Friends Why do morons like lightning?They think someone is taking their picture. Why did it take the moron an hour to eat breakfast? Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! ! What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it…
The Speeding Ticket
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding… Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI. Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle? Driver: Oh, it’s not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think…
Gay Graffiti
I saw this on a washroom wall at a truck stop on Highway 401, near Port Hope, Ontario a few years back: My mother made me a homosexual! Below in another handwriting: If I left her the wool, would she make me one too?