“Ridiculous Quotes”

Signs Your Cow Has Mad-Cow Disease Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.  She refuses to let you milk her, saying “Not on the first date.”  Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.  Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body.  Your cow…

A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she’d had at work, and that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died. “How horrible!” said the friend, “What did you do?” The blonde replies, “Well there was nothing I could do. He kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn’t…

The Texan Farmer A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and begins talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,“Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”   Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the…

A man walks into the doctor’s office with a serious problem! “Doctor, I’ve had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I’ve had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?” The…

Reason #3 why you should never be the first one to pass out at a party… (Reason 1  and  Reason 2  in case you missed them)

you should not be the first person to pass out at a party!