The #1 Reason You Should Not Pass Out at a Party

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding… Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI. Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle? Driver: Oh, it’s not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think…

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What’s politics?” Dad says, ” Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs…

“Things My Mom Taught Me”   My Mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.  I just finished cleaning!” My Mom taught me about INDIVIDUALISM. “I bet if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too! My Mom taught me RELIGION. “You…

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the roadwhen she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf,”says Little Red Riding Hood. The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away.Further down  the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again;this time he is crouched behind a…

Crime Scene of a Drunk