Just Popped Up To Say Hi

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and mywife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else…After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finallyproceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the sinkwith the exception of one glass, which…

If Men Could Have a  Remote Control for Women  

The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feelingtoo hot that morning anyway.  I went to breakfast knowing my wifewould be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,”and would probably have a present for me.She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s…

Bin Laden’s Baby Picture

Sometimes people should think about how their last names fit together before they get married… 

Moron Jokes for all your Moron Friends Why do morons like lightning?They think someone is taking their picture. Why did it take the moron an hour to eat breakfast? Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! ! What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it…