Reason #3 not to pass out at a party

A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she’d had at work, and that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died. “How horrible!” said the friend, “What did you do?” The blonde replies, “Well there was nothing I could do. He kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn’t…

Sometimes people should think about how their last names fit together before they get married… 

Shove It Up Your …!  Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.Before he…

After centuries of pondering, contemplating, studying, researching, and experimenting, men have finally concluded the following: 

The Pillsbury DoughboyHas Passed Away Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry…