Funnies.com Content Archive from the 1990s

A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she’d had at work, and that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died. “How horrible!” said the friend, “What did you do?” The blonde replies, “Well there was nothing I could do. He kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn’t…

January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson’s son. June 1998: A 19-year-old…

Have You Ever Wondered… Why does the sun lighten our hair,but darken our skin? Why can’t  women put on mascarawith their mouths closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline“Psychic Wins Lottery”? Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why is lemon juice made with…

Moron Jokes for all your Moron Friends Why do morons like lightning?They think someone is taking their picture. Why did it take the moron an hour to eat breakfast? Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! ! What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it…