Jokes Archive

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates… It‘s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,might burn your ass tomorrow.

This is Just Wrong…

Don’t waste your time. You’re NOT gonna find one!

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer.  Ten minutes later, he says, “Get me another beerbefore it starts!”  She looks across, but fetches another beer…

An old woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.  A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, “Giorgio – Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!” The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator…

Crime Scene of a Drunk

Spelling to get into Heaven A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw…

Little Johnny’s Drawing

The Perfect Couple Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side…