My Butt Hurts

Farting Your Guts Out Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the…

Shove It Up Your …!  Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.Before he…

Signs Your Cow Has Mad-Cow Disease Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.  She refuses to let you milk her, saying “Not on the first date.”  Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.  Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body.  Your cow…

Slightly Offensive, Hilarious Pictures (proceed only if you are not easily offended) Click here to see Hilarious Picture #2