My Butt Hurts

          Due to increasing products liability litigation,  American liquor manufacturershave accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labelsbe placed immediately on all containers: Warnings:           The consumption of alcohol may leave you  wonderingwhat the heck happened to your bra.           The consumption of alcohol may make you thinkyou are whispering when you are not.           The consumption…

Yes, being over 50 does have its advantages… 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?” 5. People no longer…

You’ve worked hard all day, and you deserve a coffee break! You have been sent a virtual cup of coffee!

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and mywife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else…After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finallyproceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the sinkwith the exception of one glass, which…

Good advice for family planning