Funnies.com Content Archive from the 1990s

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS. Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.   Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further,   chocolate candy bars also contain milk,   which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered…

Dear Diary, I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole ‘Venus and Mars’ thing. I’ve also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I’ve yet to figure out how…

The Most Disgusting Eye Trick Ever

The Old Man’s Job Application This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one who’ll cooperate). DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in…

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a…

 Look at the image below.Do you see rectangles or diamonds? Take a look at this one. There are NO black dots anywhere in the image.Your brain gets confused and your eyes createthe black dots inside the white empty spaces! What’s going on with this painting? None of the circles below are actually turning.  The ones you…