Life Is Not a Box of Chocolates
Life is NOT
like a box of chocolates…

It‘s more like a jar of jalapenos.

What you do today,
might burn your ass tomorrow.


Life is NOT
like a box of chocolates…

It‘s more like a jar of jalapenos.

What you do today,
might burn your ass tomorrow.


Don’t waste your time. You’re NOT gonna find one!
Signs Your Cow Has Mad-Cow Disease Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne. She refuses to let you milk her, saying “Not on the first date.” Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder. Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body. Your cow…
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.Female……Any part under a car’s hood.Male……….The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.Female……Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.Male……….Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.Female……The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.Male………..Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)Female…….A desire to get married and…
Hands in the Clouds I would flip out if I saw the clouds form like this!
Now THAT’S a lot of Snow!
Redneck 911 Call A couple of redneck hunters are out inthe woods when one of them falls to the ground.He doesn’t seem to be breathingand his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other redneck starts to panic, thenwhips out his cell phone and calls 911. He frantically blurts out to the operator,“O my…