“Ridiculous Quotes”

Spelling to get into Heaven A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw…

I saw this on a washroom wall at a truck stop on Highway 401, near Port Hope, Ontario a few years back: My mother made me a homosexual! Below in another handwriting: If I left her the wool, would she make me one too?

“Things My Mom Taught Me”   My Mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.  I just finished cleaning!” My Mom taught me about INDIVIDUALISM. “I bet if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too! My Mom taught me RELIGION. “You…

A Day Off So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours…

* You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.” * Your Jedi robe is camouflage. * You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. * You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. * You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your…

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. “Wow…that looks deep.” “Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.” They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise “Geeez. That is REALLY deep… here.. throw one of these…