How to Rob a Snowman, from Funnies.com

The Perfect Couple Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side…

Signs Your Cow Has Mad-Cow Disease Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.  She refuses to let you milk her, saying “Not on the first date.”  Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.  Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body.  Your cow…

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The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feelingtoo hot that morning anyway.  I went to breakfast knowing my wifewould be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,”and would probably have a present for me.She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s…

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.Female……Any part under a car’s hood.Male……….The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.Female……Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.Male……….Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.Female……The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.Male………..Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)Female…….A desire to get married and…

The Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction,She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,She’ll win you in…