Catching Snowflakes

The Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction,She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,She’ll win you in…

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says; “You don’t know Jack Schitt.”Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.            Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt,the owner of the Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.They had…

Are My Testicles Black? A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth.  A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. “Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, I’m only here to…

The Old Man’s Job Application This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one who’ll cooperate). DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in…

Signs Your Cow Has Mad-Cow Disease Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.  She refuses to let you milk her, saying “Not on the first date.”  Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.  Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body.  Your cow…

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