The Crime Scene of a Drunk, a Funny Picture from Funnies.com

Shove It Up Your …!  Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.Before he…

I saw this on a washroom wall at a truck stop on Highway 401, near Port Hope, Ontario a few years back: My mother made me a homosexual! Below in another handwriting: If I left her the wool, would she make me one too?

The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feelingtoo hot that morning anyway.  I went to breakfast knowing my wifewould be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,”and would probably have a present for me.She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s…

Good advice for family planning

Dear Diary, I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole ‘Venus and Mars’ thing. I’ve also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I’ve yet to figure out how…