Too Much Caffeine

A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and tells the doctorshe’s broken every single bone in her body.“That’s impossible!” says the doctor. The blonde says, “No, it’s really true. Look!”She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams “Ouch!”Then she touches her arm and yells “Eeeeoooow!”Finally she touches her ribs and can barely…

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for…

Signs Your Cow Has Mad-Cow Disease Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.  She refuses to let you milk her, saying “Not on the first date.”  Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.  Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body.  Your cow…

The Texan Farmer A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and begins talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,“Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”   Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the…

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN. * Wine her, * Dine her, * Call her, * Hug her, * Support her, * Hold her, * Surprise her, * Compliment her, * Smile at her, * Listen to her, * Laugh with her, * Cry with her, * Romance her, * Encourage her, * Believe in her,…