Archive of Funnies.com content from the 1990s.
January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson’s son. June 1998: A 19-year-old…
Have You Ever Wondered… Why does the sun lighten our hair,but darken our skin? Why can’t women put on mascarawith their mouths closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline“Psychic Wins Lottery”? Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why is lemon juice made with…
I hope your birthday is filled with smiles and laughter!
I’ve just been laying around, killing time, and waiting to hear from you!
Moron Jokes for all your Moron Friends Why do morons like lightning?They think someone is taking their picture. Why did it take the moron an hour to eat breakfast? Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! ! What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it…
I’m sureyou twowill makea wonderfulcouple! Good luckto you both!
The National Poetry Contest had come down to the final two contestants, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then they were allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word that they were given was “Timbuktu.” First to…
A man walks into the doctor’s office with a serious problem! “Doctor, I’ve had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I’ve had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?” The…
OK. Pay close attention. Here is a very simple little test comprisedof four easy questions to determine the level of your intellect. Seeif you have what it takes to be considered “smart.” Your repliesmust be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating orwasting of time. And no cheating! On Your Mark, Get Set, Go… 1: You are…