Where Icicles Come From

A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she’d had at work, and that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died. “How horrible!” said the friend, “What did you do?” The blonde replies, “Well there was nothing I could do. He kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn’t…

A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and tells the doctorshe’s broken every single bone in her body.“That’s impossible!” says the doctor. The blonde says, “No, it’s really true. Look!”She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams “Ouch!”Then she touches her arm and yells “Eeeeoooow!”Finally she touches her ribs and can barely…

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What’s politics?” Dad says, ” Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs…

Good advice for family planning

I saw this on a washroom wall at a truck stop on Highway 401, near Port Hope, Ontario a few years back: My mother made me a homosexual! Below in another handwriting: If I left her the wool, would she make me one too?