The Crime Scene of a Drunk, a Funny Picture from Funnies.com

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer.  Ten minutes later, he says, “Get me another beerbefore it starts!”  She looks across, but fetches another beer…

Girly Darth Vader Costume

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding… Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI. Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle? Driver: Oh, it’s not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think…

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and mywife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else…After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finallyproceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the sinkwith the exception of one glass, which…

Why I Am So Tired!!! For a couple of years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep,not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job,earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason:I’m tired because I’m overworked. Here’s why: The population of this country…

The #1 Reason you should not be the first person to pass out at a party!