The Crime Scene of a Drunk, a Funny Picture from Funnies.com

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS. Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.   Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further,   chocolate candy bars also contain milk,   which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered…

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer.  Ten minutes later, he says, “Get me another beerbefore it starts!”  She looks across, but fetches another beer…

The Perfect Couple Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side…

A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day she’d had at work, and that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died. “How horrible!” said the friend, “What did you do?” The blonde replies, “Well there was nothing I could do. He kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldn’t…

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ”Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?” And the man says, ”Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond, he’s…

Why Snowmen Hate Dogs