Life Is Not a Box of Chocolates
Life is NOT
like a box of chocolates…
It‘s more like a jar of jalapenos.
What you do today,
might burn your ass tomorrow.
Life is NOT
like a box of chocolates…
It‘s more like a jar of jalapenos.
What you do today,
might burn your ass tomorrow.
I was just “Monkeying Around“ and thought I’d say HELLO!
Redneck 911 Call A couple of redneck hunters are out inthe woods when one of them falls to the ground.He doesn’t seem to be breathingand his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other redneck starts to panic, thenwhips out his cell phone and calls 911. He frantically blurts out to the operator,“O my…
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS. Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered…
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests. The last test had left his system upset. For hours he made several false-alarm trips to the bathroom. Finally giving up on going, he decided his latest urge to go to the bathroom was just another false alarm, so he stayed put. …
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Ten minutes later, he says, “Get me another beerbefore it starts!” She looks across, but fetches another beer…
The Blondeand the Coke Machine There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a…