Mad Cow Disease

Signs Your Cow Has 
Mad-Cow Disease

Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce 
behind each ear as cologne. 

She refuses to let you milk her, 
saying “Not on the first date.” 

Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder. 

Your cow appears on Oprah, 
claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow’s body. 

Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred. 

Your cow insists that evaporated milk 
comes from dehydrated cows. 

She starts giving you Milk of Magnesia. 

Your cow starts smoking its grass 
rather than eating it. 

Your cow spends half the day sitting in the 
Lotus Position chanting “MOO” backwards. 

Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk 
if you started feeding it Hershey bars. 

Your cow asks you to brand it again 
but only if you’ll wear something sexy this time. 

Your cow becomes a Muslim 
and asks to be called “LaCream Abdul Milkbar”. 

Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart 
and yells “Bullseye”! 

Your cow insists Milk Duds 
are the result of stupid cows. 

Your cow tips other cows over and laughs.

Your cow starts laughing hysterically 
until milk spurts out its nose.

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