Monkey Business

Farting Your Guts Out Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the…

I saw this on a washroom wall at a truck stop on Highway 401, near Port Hope, Ontario a few years back: My mother made me a homosexual! Below in another handwriting: If I left her the wool, would she make me one too?

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20 Really Cheesy Jokes 1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,“I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” 3.Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic…

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer.  Ten minutes later, he says, “Get me another beerbefore it starts!”  She looks across, but fetches another beer…