Santa’s Dead

Dear Diary, I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole ‘Venus and Mars’ thing. I’ve also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I’ve yet to figure out how…

The Most Disgusting Eye Trick Ever

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer.  Ten minutes later, he says, “Get me another beerbefore it starts!”  She looks across, but fetches another beer…

A struggling zoo’s main attraction, a gorilla, dies during their most popular season. They can’t afford to lose the gorilla so they secretly hire one of the employees to be a gorilla in a suit for an extra $500 a week. He quickly becomes even more popular than the original gorilla, everyone wants to see…

A Day Off So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours…

          Due to increasing products liability litigation,  American liquor manufacturershave accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labelsbe placed immediately on all containers: Warnings:           The consumption of alcohol may leave you  wonderingwhat the heck happened to your bra.           The consumption of alcohol may make you thinkyou are whispering when you are not.           The consumption…