Santa’s Dead

Have You Ever Wondered… Why does the sun lighten our hair,but darken our skin? Why can’t  women put on mascarawith their mouths closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline“Psychic Wins Lottery”? Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why is lemon juice made with…

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work,plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts!” The wife sighs and gets him a beer.  Ten minutes later, he says, “Get me another beerbefore it starts!”  She looks across, but fetches another beer…

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo.When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and the weakest onesat the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good forthe herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole groupkeeps improving by the regular…

The Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction,She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,She’ll win you in…