Jokes Archive

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the roadwhen she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf,”says Little Red Riding Hood. The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away.Further down  the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again;this time he is crouched behind a…

A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and tells the doctorshe’s broken every single bone in her body.“That’s impossible!” says the doctor. The blonde says, “No, it’s really true. Look!”She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams “Ouch!”Then she touches her arm and yells “Eeeeoooow!”Finally she touches her ribs and can barely…

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ”Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?” And the man says, ”Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond, he’s…

Farting Your Guts Out Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the…

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and mywife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else…After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finallyproceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the sinkwith the exception of one glass, which…

The Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction,She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,She’ll win you in…